You really only have one of two choices when you get external data that’s non-conforming with your inner programming. ie, getting overwhelmed emotionally.
First, you understand those emotions, work through them, and come to a satisfying middle point where you upgrade your thinking but still remain yourself more or less.
Or, you can let go of what makes you, you. With that, you’ll acquire overwhelming power over your life conditions, and you’ll no longer get self-sabotage which is the main thing that prevents anyone from doing anything.
At that point, there will be no self to sabotage your actions.
That’s how psychopaths minds work inherently, and why they don’t feel shame, or anything deep really.